What makes you lose your marbles?

Working for yourself sounds like freedom, and a lot of the time it is. But the challenges of being self-employed rarely make it into the success stories, and most of us deal with them quietly. Often at 3am.

I've been going it alone for a long time and met my own challenges along the way. For years I struggled to find the courage to raise my rates, and constantly undercut myself as a result. On top of that, I was juggling life as a single mum without the security of a regular job. I had many a sleepless night.

Every freelancer's journey is deeply personal, and yet we all face similar challenges.

The real challenges of being self-employed (and working for yourself)

Raising your rates when every instinct says don't

For years I priced my work around what I thought clients would accept, not what I needed to live on. Undercharging as a freelancer is one of those habits that feels safe at the time and costs you later. Every "I'll keep it low to win the job" adds up.

The strange part is that I love what I do. The work itself has never been the hard part for me. Sending the quote was. There's a particular kind of dread in typing a number, deleting it, typing a smaller one and telling yourself it's fine because at least you'll get the job.

Raising your rates as a freelancer takes a bit of nerve the first time. It gets easier once you can see, in black and white, what your rate actually has to pay for.

If you've ever stared at a quote and wondered what to charge, you'll find a few of my own pricing lessons in Why I Built Use Your Marbles. It's also why the first thing I built was a free Freelancer Rate Calculator, so you can check your numbers before you hit send.

No regular pay cheque, and nobody to hand over to

Being a self-employed single parent means there's no partner's salary to fall back on and no employer paying you when you're ill or on holiday. A quiet month isn't just quiet. It's the mortgage, and the school shoes that suddenly don't fit.

When it's just you, every decision lands on your shoulders. Take the extra project and lose the weekend, or turn it down and worry about next month. There isn't a right answer, only the one you can live with that week.

That kind of pressure doesn't switch off at 6pm, which is where a lot of those sleepless nights came from.

Finding clients when you'd rather just do the work

Most of us went freelance because we're good at something, not because we love selling it. Yet marketing yourself is part of the job, and it never really stops. When you're busy, there's no time for it. When you're quiet, there's suddenly all the time in the world and no idea where to start.

I've spent plenty of evenings rewriting a profile on a freelance job site or wondering what to post on social media, when I really wanted to be doing the work I'm actually paid for. Putting yourself out there can feel a bit like showing off, especially if you're not the type to blow your own trumpet. It's one of the challenges of being self-employed that nobody warns you about.

Why we don't talk about it more

Freelancers are good at looking as if everything's under control. We have to be, because clients are buying confidence as much as they're buying the work. So the wobbles stay private.

But when you do start talking to other freelancers, the same freelance struggles come up again and again. Pricing is always one of them, and so is that nagging feeling that you should be further along by now. It helps to know it isn't just you.

Tell me about yours

I'd genuinely love to hear what makes you lose your marbles. Maybe it's chasing late invoices, or finding the next client at all. Maybe it's working out your tax when you'd rather be doing the actual work, or never quite knowing when to stop for the day. Big or small, it all counts.

Share your story through the contact form. A couple of lines is plenty.

Your story might inspire the next tool

You never know. I make simple tools for freelancers at Use Your Marbles, and the best ideas come from real problems. The rate calculator came from my own pricing headaches, so your story might inspire the next one.

Use them, don't lose them!

Julie

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